You know when you are around 5th Street Market & you look up on Skinner Butte? That amazing Victorian house? Have you ever wondered what life was like when people actually lived there? You are in luck! Or, rather, your kiddo is in luck! Leah Murray has designed a brilliant camp called Victorian Finishing School that allows children to explore what life was like over 100 years ago. We got to ask her all about it!
What can parents expect their kids to learn during Victorian Finishing School?
Our educational goals are for our students to be able to write a proper thank you letter, know how to thread a needle and sew on a button, and learn a bit of history. Our main goal however, is for them to have fun. We know that not all kids are cut out for the outdoors, sports, or intensely art oriented camps. The underlying theme of our camp use our imagination in a relaxed environment and learn a few skills that might be handy as they get older.
How are your camps different from others in our area?
We are mixing a bit of history and education disguised as imagination and creativity inside a 100+ year old home. The students are given costumes to dress in and a huge house to imagine living in, while learning to do the things the children that grew up here learned 100 years ago. They get to have tea parties, do art, and play hide-and-seek in a place where they would normally have to be quiet and not touch anything.
Why do you think it's important for kids to learn about these topics?
We are becoming increasing out of touch with our past and the connections to others that it teaches us. Kids don't get nearly enough hands on activities in schools, and so many of our wonderful traditions are falling away. When was the last time you wrote a thank you note? Kids aren't learning how to read an analog clock, write cursive, or respect the amount work it takes to make something by hand. If I leave these kids nothing else by the end of the three days, I hope that they are at least curious enough about their ability to create something that isn't on a screen that they find other activities to learn.
How would you invite a child who is very tech & screen focused to try out your camp?
Everything that you do on the screen started out in the real world somewhere. Anyone can play MineCraft, but how many kids can say they have played hide and seek in a 'castle' in real life?
What is the age range of your camps?
We have set our age range to 9 to 12. We find this group gets along well socially, but we have allowed students who are 8 to attend if they are advanced writers because of the composition activity. We have found it helpful if the younger student has an older relative or close friend who can attend with them.
Some parents might wonder, is this camp just for girls?
We get this question a lot. I specifically created curriculum that would be beneficial and inclusive to everyone. Thank you notes and sewing buttons are not exclusive activities. We are open and accepting of all children no matter what their preferences.
How would you invite a child who is very tech & screen focused to try out your camp?
Everything that you do on the screen started out in the real world somewhere. Anyone can play MineCraft, but how many kids can say they have played hide and seek in a 'castle' in real life?
Where did the idea to do a Victorian Finishing School Camp come from?
Honestly, it came from reading Gail Carringer's Finishing School Series. It's a wonderful series and I was inspired to see if I could do something like it here in Eugene. I don't teach spycraft of course, but I am pleased with what we have created anyway.
What are you most excited about teaching the campers?
I love all of it. I get emotional when the parents come to the recital on Thursday and I hear the students telling their parents all the little stories I told them on the first day when I am not sure I have their attention yet. I love hearing from the parents how the students want to set the tables for dinner 'the right way' and ask to get supplies to continue learning sewing. I especially love watching the new friendships made by kids who wouldn't have met otherwise.
Sometimes the cost of camps can be restrictive for families, do you have anything to help?
We offer scholarships! We know that camp and childcare can be a financial burden on families. We are happy to be able to support those families through discounted tuition. We also offer discounts for siblings and for students who are also attending Singing Creek Educational Center Summer camps. (Visit us here for more information)
Victorian Finishing School
Shelton McMurphy Johnson House
303 Willamette Street, Eugene
(Enter Driveway at Third and Pearl Streets)
9am-2pm each day
How neat is that?
Such a great way for kids to get a sense of what life was like in Eugene almost 150 years ago.
& also learn some really beautiful & valuable skills.
Thanks, Leah, for sharing Victorian Finishing School Camp with us.
We are lucky to have you in Eugene!
We're so excited for warmer weather and water play! Since it's time for fun in the sun & surf, we've made some lists of summer products, events, fun ideas, cool locations, and more! All selected to help you have the splashiest, wettest, BEST summer ever!
For part 1, we're talking about swimsuits! Check out all the fun & functional swimsuits you can get for you and your kids! Plus, hear some swimsuit encouragement from a mom who's been there.
swimwear for moms! or anyone who wants to be in the water with kids & be covered and comfy!
So, we know it can be hard to put on a swimsuit & get in the water. And we found this really cool article from Scary Mommy that really sums this up.
"Would they see the not-so-perfectly toned tummy? What about the somewhat toned upper abs, paired with an unforgiving C-section scar and muscle repair? Would they see the not-quite-flabby, but not-so-muscular physique of a mother who gave life through a surgical birth? Would they sneer at those features?
...I have never been more proud of my body. Without it those smiles wouldn't exist. This body grew and gave life. It has survived almost 30 years of sports, scars, and scuffles. It has bounced back from babies and surgeries, sleepless nights, and 2-year olds."
From Scary Mommy's "Today I Wore a Swimsuit" by Maria Colon. (see the full article at the link! it's so great!)
That's our summer swim picks! This is just part 1 of tons of summer fun!
Is there anything better than kids being creative? They just go for it, you know? In Lane County we are so lucky to have a really cool outlet for kids who are into making videos (& they all are at some point, we're pretty sure. All of the features & filters are hard to resist!), The Eugene Children's Film Festival. Today we get to talk to Clint Larson, founder of the festival about creativity, alternatives to writing papers & high hopes for the future.
What made you decide to bring a Children's Film Festival to Eugene?
Starting the Academic Achievement Center back in 2014 allowed my partners and I to really look at what could be done to enhance student achievement outside of school. We decided that offering great educational events totally free for students to get involved in would be a fun and motivational way to do that. After our first film making / stop motion camp that summer, a parent walking out the doors with their child at pick up said, "you guys should do something to show all the kids films"...and that's all it took. We started a nonprofit and now the ECFF is our flagship event.
Were you a filmmaker when you were a kid?
I didn't have the access or the exposure to film making until too late in my life to have any great kid-made films experiences to share. But I have had some great student-made films created by my students the last 15 years. That is another reason that the film festival is so close to my heart. I have been teaching middle school students and have had them to making movies instead or writing papers since my first year teaching, and the outcome is so enjoyable year after year.
Tell us about some of your favorite entries from past years.
After four years of doing this we are closing in on nearly 200 films submitted. There have been so many great shorts that its hard to choose, but I am partial to the students that submit films every year! Seeing how they develop technically, and as storytellers is so rewarding! It lets me know that we are doing something right! Giving students a voice and platform that they wouldn't have with out the Eugene Children's Film Festival.
What makes a great Children's Film?
Story! it's all about having a clear beginning, middle, and end in the short amount of time students have to share their work.
How do you choose judges for the competition?
We look for a background in the arts, acting, music, performing, and especially film for our judging panel each year. We have been lucky to have some amazing judges for the festival in each of the four years of the event. Eugene has some very talented community members that volunteer their time to watch and comment on each film.
Tell a story that stands out to you from your experiences with the kids & their films.
In our first year a 12 year old student used a program called SCRATCH to create his entire short film. SCRATCH is an educational tool used to teach the basics of computer coding. We use the website after school and in a few of our camps at the Academic Achievement Center. I was just amazing to see how he was able to put together an actual story and make so many people laugh and smile. That was a lot of hard work and super creative!
What are your hopes & dreams for the Eugene Children's Film Festival?
To tell you the truth I want it to be a weekend long event, not just one day! I would love for each day to feature work from different age levels and different genres. I would also love to add more scholarship opportunities and motivational rewards for these talented and creative students. The forest industry is leading the way in helping support one hopefully growing scholarships and we are excited that next year we will be able to offer another category scholarship for agriculture. And most of all I want the event to have staying power so when one of these young filmmakers wins an Academy Award some day, they just might look back at the Eugene Children's Film Festival as the place where they "kicked down the door" as Guillermo Del Toro so appropriately said at the Oscars this year!
Is the Film Festival appropriate for younger kids?
Yes, the event is appropriate for younger kids. We have been getting more and more films from high school students looking to share their stories with darker and sometimes scary themes, but we have made some nice changes to the event to allow for younger audiences to get the most out of the event without shunning our older audience members who need a place to share their work as well. It is a family event and we will always keep it that way.
We are so psyched for the Film Festival! How often do kids to get to see other kids present something they created in such a big way? Super inspiring & so neat to get to support art!
Eugene Children's Film Festival
Saturday May 19
doors open at 3
program starts at 3:15
Wildish Community Theater
630 Main St, Springfield
Win two tickets to the 2018 Eugene Children's Film Festival!
Comment here with your favorite way to see your kids be creative!
We will draw a winner Friday May 18 at 9pm.
5/16/2018 23 Comments
This post was written in partnership with Beyond the Sun, streaming now.
Adventure is a fun word to toss around, isn't it?
Let's go on an adventure!
Just try the green beans, it'll be an adventure!
Making dinner for the whole family using only the 3 things left in the refrigerator that aren't expired or growing things? Adventure!
But really, anything can be an adventure if you want it to be.
Like when your family plans a bike ride for Mother's Day.
A bike ride, when really all you wanted to do was sit under a tree & read. Well, as long as under the tree was also the coziest bed/chair known to man. Or a hammock that didn't make you look like a deer walking for the first time when you get out of it. Also, snacks & never-ending ice water. & a little fairy who sits on your shoulder & whispers every 15 minutes, 'You are not missing out on anything. There is nothing on the internet that needs you. The internet is taking a nap. Facebook is planting flowers in it's garden & has taken the afternoon off. Your phone is at a pedicure. No one is posting anything anywhere.'
But no, really.
Let's go on a bike ride.
So, as you can see my attitude was fantastic.
Also, these are the people I was going on said bike ride with:
This started out with a little picnic which is a tradition we have & it was so lovely, but more than once I was asked, 'Are you okay?' & 'How are you doing today?' & 'Is everything alright?' because my mood was not great. But could I really say, 'The prospect of whirring along behind the fit bunch of you athleticy athletes makes me want to cry'? I mean, I guess I COULD, but I'm pretty sure that would make me a complete jerk. (Side note: I do have a knee issue & the doctor told me that bike riding is the best thing to do because it's low impact. & we have been on a few short, short rides around our neighborhood recently & I have raved about how nice it was & how good I felt & how my knee wasn't hurting at all. Okay, so maybe this idea didn't come out of left field & my family actually thought of something that would be really fun fun for everyone. Okay! I get it! My family is attentive & incredible! You don't have to yell!)
& so, off on a bike ride we went.
& I hate to admit this, because-
No, never mind.
I don't hate to admit it.
I am happy to say that it was lovely.
Sure, it was a challenge & I was at the back most of the time (I do not mind this at all, by the way. I love being the caboose & seeing everyone ahead of me).
Sure, at one point I snarkily said, 'Oh! I forgot I was riding with the people who need to get everywhere as fast as humanly possible!' because we do have a couple of those.
But mostly it was just nice.
We kind of rode in twos & at some point or another I think most everyone rode with everyone else. My stepmom & I even rode together (she is the superfit one, remember?) & even though I could tell that she was afraid she might tip over, we were going so slow, she stuck with me & we chatted & it was lovely! (Lovely!)
About 3/4 of the way around the river loop (did I mention we were riding along the river? Lovely!) I needed to stop & felt a little overheated. I said that I was going to go slower & that everyone could go ahead of me, it was fine (& I wasn't just saying that. I would always rather go at my own pace than kill myself to keep up with the supers. I don't mind being alone but if you want stay with me, that's nice, too.)
My husband stayed back with me & we had a cute little mini date.
In all we rode almost 6 miles.
& now I will tell you about each and every mile.
In the end it was just great and I’m really glad that I did it.
All it takes to have an adventure is a good attitude and five paragraphs of complaining.
Adventuring with your kids is like Joey's assessment of Rachel's trifle.
And now I get to tell you about this new movie that has a cameo by the Pope (the actual Pope!)
& after that there are two pretty incredible giveaways!
A heartwarming family film is releasing this week. Distributed by AMBI Distribution, BEYOND THE SUN, is a modern day tale of hope, faith and courage based on stories from the Bible. This delightful family movie chronicles the adventures of four young friends in search of God. The film features a very rare special appearance by Pope Francis.
BEYOND THE SUN is available for purchase across multiple platforms including iTunes, Amazon, and TUGG now.
This week we get to give away something pretty awesome, a $50 gift card!
& you get to choose if you want it for Amazon or Target.
Comment here with your favorite way to adventure with your family or something that you are hoping to do adventure wise (we promise we won't check up on you, it can just live in your heart if that’s where it needs to be)
You can also get another entry by sharing this post wherever you like to share things.
We will draw the winner Friday, May 18 at 9pm
****giveaway: The Sequel****
You can also enter to win a trip to the Vatican.
The real live Vatican!
In support of the film, AMBI Media Group is holding a special contest where one lucky winner will win an Exclusive Private Tour of the Vatican and Front Row Tickets to an Audience with The Pope For Four.
For anyone who has ever wanted to visit Italy and The Vatican, this is your chance!
For additional details about the contest and to enter, please go to:
This Vatican giveaway is held completely on the site linked above.
We won't be drawing the winner for that one :)
Have a great day friends!
Public Works day is phenomenally done, and lots of local preschools and schools use it as a field trip, so it gets busy. Sometimes I shy away from an event that has a mega crowd, but this one is so worth it, I brave the masses. Going first thing in the morning can help beat a few of the school busses. Also heading to the yard tour line, the one where you ride in a trailer, is a good first move, since that's really the only thing that gets a big line.
This is a PERFECT event to meet up with another mom at, or even carpool. The kids can keep each other entertained as they wait for their turn to climbing into machines, and you can make them pose for cute pictures!
Sam and I hope you get to go check our Public Works day on Thursday and that you love it as much as we do.
Kate Becker is our newest blogger & all around organizer. She has so much super fun stuff to share about the things her family does in Lane County. According to Kate's Mothers Day card from Sam she loves running, cats and playing 2dots on her phone. She'd like to note she also loves her 3 kids, enough to brave a crowd to get these smiles.
My kids will gleefully tell you that last summer was the BEST SUMMER EVER! The funny thing is we didn’t go to Hawaii, or Disneyland, or even buy them all ponies. These fantastic memories are all courtesy of the 1Pass, and summoning up the energy to put on a bra and leave the house every day.
Willamalane and Eugene Parks and Rec have teamed up to offering these awesome passes for kids 18 and under, for $50, and they're valid from May 28th to September 3, 2018.
My kids were 3, 5 & 7 last summer, so getting out of the house was still a pretty epic fiasco. You know the drill; someone can only find left flip flops (how is this even possible when you own 4 pairs?!?!), someone else is refusing to use the bathroom despite reminders of the last quarter mile dash from the Costco dairy cooler to the bathroom, someone else is IRATE that I won’t let them wear their swimsuit to the library when it’s raining and 68 degrees and we’re going to the library…… So, it’s easy to talk myself out of leaving. It’s a lot of work to get out. But if we stay in, we’re a miserable herd of arguing and cabin fever.
But it’s SO worth it to get out of the house. The change of scenery makes us all more pleasant. The distractions put a pause on the sibling quarreling, or at least slows the speed and buys us an extra minute before spats. Activities wear them out so they’re calmer and happier once we get home. Bedtime is smoother, and my personal favorite, they’re not wrecking the house!
We’ve all had those outing fails though. I pay the admission to Eugene Science Center (the artist formerly known as Science Factory, or even Wistec) for the whole family, and one of my kids just can’t get it together. They’re a hot mess, and making everything miserable. I’m torn between staying because we paid so much to get in, and leaving because my face is already hot with embarrassment from the last tantrum and I know another is brewing. Or the fails that have nothing to do with my kids, and everything to do with the event. It said “kid friendly” but they meant the kids who can sit quietly and listen and not run around like banshees touching the balloon arches. It just wasn’t a good fit, and that embarrassment is creeping back. I did all the work to get us out, and instead of pleasantly worn out kids and a happily connected mama, we’re heading home even more irritable.
1Pass solves this! I pay one time for the membership and for the rest of the summer everything is FREE! Kid melts at Skate World? No big deal, we can bail, I didn’t pay for that trip. All the included events are actually kid friendly; for real kids, that run around and act like kids.
Another favorite was bowling. How cute are these teeny shoes? Emerald Lanes was really kind to the kids, setting up bumpers for us, and letting the kids use the training ramps to push their balls down if they wanted.
Mini golfing was a big hit with our crowd. There are two different courses, and one has a good amount of shade so we didn't get too hot. Mostly mine just hit their ball into the bushes and them climbed around to find them or into the water to fish them out, but hey, it burned at least an hour of energy and they had a blast.
Bob Keefer Center will let kids play soccer & volley ball and skate in the multipurpose courts, and play basketballs in the wood gyms.
This was a glorious place where I could actually sit down and just watch them play. It was also perfect when the air quality got awful last summer, and all we wanted was to be inside, but still burn off energy.
Don't let me forget the pools! We hit Willamalane Swim Center most weekends. The slide dumps right back into the main pool, so I can stand on the ramp entry with my littlest while my middle goes down the slide (in a lifejacket, that THEY provide!!) over and over and over for an hour. We also visited Amazon, which is super fun, and mega crowded. There are 6 pools included in the 1Pass, so you can try them all.
The 1Pass is also a LTD Bus Pass. My kids still think buses are magical, so it's easy to use up a few hours on a rainy day rolling around town on buses. Especially if you can find one that bends and sit in the middle. Plus, no traffic, no searching for parking, no meters. Buses are magic for parents, too! It's also so great for older kids to get around town to all of the 1Pass places on their own.
Have I convinced you yet? I know $50 per person is a lot of money. It's like 10 Frappuccinos, or 1.5 pedicures. When I put it in that perspective, it was a lot easier to see the value of these memories.
I geeked out on the details to make sure We'd get the best use out of it and that it was a good use of our money (see my handy dandy chart below). We figured out that it paid for itself in less than 2 weeks.
If we went to only the following places once time each during the summer it would be $50.75 per person:
Emerald lanes $5
Get Air $12
Adventure Children's Museum $4
Camp Putt $5.25
Cascade Raptor Center $9
The 1Pass has so many more places & you can go to most places once a day the entire summer (if you're up for a completely epic challenge). It's an investment upfront but so worth it, if you are planning to do most of this stuff at all.
*both Eugene and Springfield are offering scholarships this year, applications are due May 20th and a link can be found on the Willamalane 1Pass details page, and here for Eugene.
In short, the One Pass is amazing. It's your ticket to the best summer ever. Hope to see you adventuring, skating, bowling, jumping and golfing your way around town with us this summer. =)
Willamalane 1Pass Website
Eugene 1Pass Website
Free Admission with Pass:
Adventure! Children’s Museum, 490 Valley River Center, Eugene, 541-653-9629. One visit per day
Amazon Pool, 2600 Hilyard St., Eugene, 541-682-5350. Regularly scheduled rec swims only
Bob Keefer Center for Sports and Recreation, 250 S. 32nd St., Springfield, 541-736-4544. Drop in to age-appropriate sessions of tennis, basketball or volleyball. Ages 14-17 may use the fitness center if accompanied by a parent or guardian
Camp Putt Adventure Golf Park, 4006 Franklin Blvd., Eugene, 541-852-4653. Kids 12 & under must be with an adult
Cascades Raptor Center, 32275 Fox Hollow Rd., Eugene, 541-485-1320. One visit per day
Echo Hollow Pool, 1655 Echo Hollow Rd., Eugene, 541-682-5525. Regularly scheduled rec swims only
Emerald Lanes, 140 Oakway Rd., Eugene, 541-342-2611. One game and one shoe rental per day
Eugene Science Center, 2300 Leo Harris Pkwy., Eugene, 541-682-7888. One visit to exhibit hall or one show at Exploration Dome per day • Kids 12 & under must be with an adult
Get Air Eugene, 4211 W 11th Ave., Eugene, 541-827-1016. One visit per week
Jordan Schnitzer Museum of Art, 1430 Johnson Tn., Eugene, 541-346-3027. Admission with pass
Late Transit District, 1080 Willamette St., Eugene, 541-687-5555. Unlimited rides • show pass to bus driver.
River Road Pool, 1400 Lake Dr., Eugene, 541-688-4052. One visit per day • Regularly scheduled rec swims only
Sheldon Pool, 2443 Willakenzie Rd., Eugene, 541-682-5314. Regularly scheduled rec swims only
Skate World, 3188 Gateway Lp., Springfield, 541-746-8424. One visit, one skate rental per day
Splash! at Lively Park, 6100 Thurston Rd., Springfield, 541-736-4244. Valid for Waterpark Swims only
Willamalane Park Swim Center, 1276 G St., Springfield, 541-736-4080. Regularly scheduled
rec swims only
Kate Becker has 3 kids and is not being paid/sponsored by 1Pass, she's just beyond excited for this summer.
Today we get to interview Aaron Oakley from River Ridge Golf Course where they do an amazing spring & summer class with PGA Jr League. One of the things we love about golf is that it's a sport that really values etiquette & manners. Learning through play is such a great way to raise kind, caring & polite kiddos. We also included a really great list of 10 reasons kids should get into golf.
What can parents expect their kids to learn at PGA Jr League?
This may sound a little simple, but my goal of the program is to teach the kids how to play golf. Each practice is dedicated to focusing on one or two golf skills (i.e. putting, chipping, full swing) with an emphasis on the four elements of etiquette: Safety, Consideration for Other Players, Pace of Play, and Care of the Course.
How are these classes different than other camps & classes in the area?
This program is unique because it transforms an individual sport into a team activity. The players wear numbered jerseys with their team name printed on the back (team names have varied from traditional like the Rockets to silly like the Gopher Nuggets).
Tell us about what each class looks like.
After a brief warm-up, the weekly practices involve an introduction to a particular golf skill (like chipping) followed by the players practicing the skill with supervision from Jennifer Kern, LPGA or me. Some of the practices will include play on the golf course to learn the format of the competitions.
How are the tournaments set up?
In PGA Jr. League, the competitions are called games instead of tournaments. Each game consists of four matches, and each match is broken down into three three-hole segments called flags. The players use a two-person scramble format where each team’s better shot is used so there is less pressure on individual performance.
What are some things that kids learn from playing golf that transfer to their world off the course?
This question is difficult to answer succinctly as there are so many life lessons learned on the golf course! Before even discussing how to play the game, Section I of the Rules of Golf introduces the etiquette of the game broken down into Safety, Consideration for Other Players, Pace of Play, and Care of the Course. In addition to many other things, the kids will learn how to respect others (including their safety) as well as to clean up after yourself…swiftly.
Do you have options for families who might need some help?
There are scholarship opportunities available for children who qualify for free or reduced lunch as well as children of Active Duty, Retired, or Reserve members of the military.
PGA Jr League
Register by May 13
River Ridge Golf Course
Captain Aaron Oakley
10 Reasons You Should Get Your Kids into Golf Today
1. Anyone Can Play
Golfers come in all shapes and sizes. You don’t have to be particularly strong, tall, lean or fast to succeed. Golf champions come in every shape and size imaginable. It’s never too early to start, and unlike most other sports, you can enjoy golf your entire life!
2. Minimal Risk
Unlike many other popular sports like baseball, soccer and football, the chances of injury, especially serious injury, are almost nonexistent; golf is a noncontact sport.
3. Safe and Positive Environment
The golf course is a safe place and facilitates mentoring relationships.
4. Lifelong Friendships
You never know who you will meet on a golf course, but it’s one of the easiest places in the world to make friends. Success breeds success, and people who play golf are by in large more successful than the average bear. Those are the people you want your kids hanging out with! Best of all, golf creates a unique bond so those friendships can be developed all over the world and last a lifetime!
5. Prepare for Business
It’s hard to think about it now, but kids grow up and the people they meet as children can play a huge part in their success later in life. Golf is a sport that helps prepare kids and teens for careers in business and other professional arenas. Even at 12 I was learning about real-life business every day from all the adults I played with.
6. Time Spent Outdoors
In today’s world of video games, smart phones and child obesity, it can be hard to drag your son or daughter off the couch. Golf is the perfect excuse to spend an entire day enjoying nature and presents the opportunity to develop healthy, lifelong exercise habits!
7. Important Life Lessons
Golf closely parallels real life as one experiences the highs and lows of the game. The range of experience, from birdies to bogeys, rewards a young person’s ability to keep each shot in perspective, manage one’s emotions, maintain a positive outlook and focus on the shot at hand. Golf is a sport that will teach your child integrity, discipline and respect. As they learn to conduct themselves on the golf course, these lessons will translate directly into everyday life. (See http://traitsofchampions.com)
8. College Scholarships
Avid golfers have a lot of opportunities when it comes to college funding. The earlier your child starts, the greater his or her chance is of gaining access to scholarship money.
9. Spend Time with Family
Golf is a game that encourages family participation. When children are young, they enjoy doing just about anything with you (but it doesn’t long last, so start now). Golf is an opportunity for quality bonding time, and it’s one that can last a lifetime.
10. It’s FUN
This should probably be at the top of the list. One of the best reasons to get your son or daughter involved with golf is that they’ll have an absolute blast. They’ll have the chance to learn new skills, both physical and mental, make new friends and discover new opportunities.
It's been three years since I've seen my mother. It was three years ago that I sat down with her over lunch in a restaurant to listen to her heart, and to discuss all that I had poured out in a letter to her about how her abuse towards me had negatively impacted my life, and my desire for us to move forward healthily. I met up with my mom with the hopes of finding reconciliation because I had finally found it in my heart to forgive her. My hopes for reconciliation were refuted and it stung.
True and sincere reconciliation can only be had when we face the truth of our past abuse. Confessing and acknowledging how we've been wronged and/or how we've wronged another is what brings healing to the shame and distortions we've carried, and paves the way for appropriate relationships to be established. On the other hand, when there is no acknowledgement (no talking, no feeling, and no dealing) and no owning of responsibilities (denial, justification, rationalization, minimization, and blame shifting), authentic reconciliation cannot be had. In fact, firm boundaries are necessary to be put into place. In my case, I do not see my mother (or step-father) at all.
I haven't only been grieving the loss of my mother for three years, I have been grieving the loss of the mother I never had and deserved. It has taken me over thirty years to accept this loss and move on. And it's in this moving on that I have discovered that I am not completely motherless. I do have a mother--many mothers in fact.
You see, I discovered that having a mother doesn't require being genetically related. Family does not always have to share your blood. Sometimes the closest people to you aren't necessarily related to you. Sometimes the ones that love you, see you, and accept you the most are the people you simply live life with, even if it's only for a season. They are the people at your work, school, church, neighborhood, club, and community.
So if you too are motherless, I write this to share that despite not having this significant relationship in your life, you are still loveable, acceptable, worthy, and significant. You can thrive. You can foster healthy relationships in your life. You can even mother well despite not feeling comfortable or natural in that role. You can be the mother that you never had and wanted to have to your own children. And when you've realized all these truths about yourself, let yourself be mothered and be that mother to someone else.
Chris is a wife and a stay at home mom of two children. She and her family enjoy hiking, kayaking, camping, playing games, and exploring new places together. Chris writes about marriage and parenting. She shares about her insights on her personal struggles with the intention that others might find validation, encouragement, and perspective.
Read more from Chris here.
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